Suspension of Disbelief

Oh Boy

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Everyday, when we wake up in the morning, before we do our daily routine, we spend much needed time to hide the reality of how old we really are. We spend minutes and minutes and sometimes hours preparing to create the image of something younger than what is really, and to top everything, we psych ourselves with loud, party music and sometimes with cheesy and full of drama songs to create the illusion that we’re still living with our yesteryears life.


But when it comes to dating and relationships, up to what extent are we willing to spend to clearly see what we really want? And when we get the chance to finally meet our next one, will we consider age as a factor of our decision making? Maybe, just maybe, if the other is older than us, we wouldn’t think twice of pursuing what’s already in hand, but what if we meet someone younger than us, will the thesis be the same?


Last weekend, I logged on to MIRC to check what’s been happening in the world of chatting, after a few months of not chatting, I was surprised to see that most of the chatters logged on were still the same. It was a Saturday night, I don’t have a date to go out with, and my friends weren’t available to go out, I decided to look for some fun in the chatroom.


Someone macked me and asked for my ASL, STATS, and my photos, I sent mine and asked for his. After browsing at his photos, I decided to invite him to come over to my house. Around 2:30 in the morning, my phone rang, and it was him. I fetch him downstairs and led him the way up.


His name is Rye, or that’s just what his friends want to call him. In the course of our conversation I was shocked to know that he’s only 19 years old and still studying in UP Diliman, 2nd year, taking up Broad. I didn’t know what to do. He has good sense of humor, I think he’s witty enough to masturbate my thinking and not bore me for at least two hours, and so I continued to converse with him. He’s about the same height as I am, he have this Iranian-looking facial feature, nice nose, and a cute smile, and he is very hairy all over.


After 30 minutes of exchanging notes and cracking jokes, we both felt we want to kiss each other, and so we did, then it led to the next and the next one. He’s not that endowed, his size is just right. We were kissing each other most of the time instead of giving the other head or inviting someone to lean over for something else. I like kissing; he knows how to kiss, even if he’s got braces on.


We both ended the night with a big smile on our faces. He asked me to SMS him the next day or the whenever I want to, I told him I will.


Sunday came, I did my laundry, watched DVD’s, but I never sent him a message. I said to myself, that if this “kid” is going to continue being in my world, it might lead to another level, and I’m not sure if that’s what I really want with him.


I went to work early the next day, Monday. I had to finish several projects and I have to assist and man two live talk shows. I practically dragged a knife on my neck that day, I was pretty much beat up.


Anton sent me a message saying that he’s back in Manila, after spending his weekend in Batangas with his family. We agreed that we’re going to meet after my work to catch up with each other. At around 12 in the morning, I sent a message to Anton telling him that I’m done with work and we can already meet.


While waiting for Anton in the office, I unconsciously wrote an SMS and sent it to Rye. I asked how he was, he replied to my message. Our exchange of messages continued to go on for several minutes. After finally receiving Anton’s message that he’s already outside my office. As I got out of the office, I asked Rye if he wanted to meet. It took him several minutes to reply.


I told Anton the story of the 19-year old boy. He was so excited about it and laughing at the thought of me actually being serious with Rye. We’re both undecided where to go that night. Then my phone beeped, it was Rye. He said that he’s in Burger King in E. Rodriguez, enjoying the free Wi-Fi, and if I want, I can go there and chit-chat with him. I asked Anton if it was alright with him to pass by Burger King and stay there for a few minutes and transfer after after. He said yes.


I spend the whole mid-morning with Rye and Anton, all of had a laugh and we enjoyed each other’s company, talked about silly things and I got to know Rye a little more. Around 3:30 in the morning, we transferred to Garahe Bente Singko somewhere along Timog Ave., to drink. I got to know Rye even more, and I actually enjoyed his company. He’s a little touchy though, but I don’t mind. And every time I laugh to his jokes, his age flashes in head like its flooding all over.


Isn’t he mature enough to handle things like this? I think he is, but the technicalities of being a 19-year old and being a student is still there; like his dependency to his family, his endless school stuff, the immaturity of a mature 19-year old, etc..


We went home around five in the morning. Anton took a cab, and Rye and I shared a cab. It was raining a little, so I asked Rye to drop me off first and just ask the driver to go around for him. Inside the cab, I just sat there looking outside the window, he moved to closer to me and he was placed his hands on my right leg. I knew he wanted something to happen that night, but I was feeling a little tired and was honestly confused and still thinking twice on where this thing is really going.


We finally arrived at my house, I sort of hugged him goodbye and alighted the cab. As I walk up the stairs, I couldn’t help but asked the question, what is this?


The next night, it went almost the same as the first. Anton and I met to have dinner, and he went home after, and I went back to the office to finish something. After an hour Bernard messaged me that he’s already outside my office waiting.


I asked him to wait for me and play with the internet first and told him to give me an hour to finish something, so he did. After finally finishing all that needs to be done, we took a cab going to Burger King in E. Rodriguez.


The same thing happened that night, but instead of Anton it was Bernard, and we didn’t transfer. What really killed me that night was, in the middle of our chit-chat, he blurted out, “My ex is 27 years old, and he went back to his wife, that’s why we broke up….. I have a thing for old guys” Yes, those were his exact words. I was like, what??, it would have been better if he said, “older than me”.


We packed things around four in the morning. And before leaving, Rye gave me a hug, and said goodbye.


I washed my face when I got home, and just before I went to bed I received a message from Rye saying, “I enjoyed the night.. Good night.”


Yesterday passed as my usual Wednesday, work and work. I didn’t send him a message.


Then today came. Patricia is out shooting somewhere in Sagada for Storyline, I had to take over Media In Focus. I arrived at the office around two in the afternoon. I have to check and re-check everything before 6PM. And thank God, everything went on smoothly with Cheche.


8PM: I sent Rye a message asking how he was, he replied to my message with an effortless composition, “doin gud”. I didn’t reply.


After a few years of experience in the world of dating and being in several relationships, have we build a concrete category list that selects and approves every guy we meet and date?  And if so, are we willing to break the boundaries of it to experience something new, even if we’re unsure of what will the outcome be? Is it bad for a 22-year old to date or be in a relationship with someone younger than him, like a 19-year old?

Written by Patrick King Pascual

October 30, 2008 at 2:56 pm

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