Suspension of Disbelief

Archive for January 2009


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Araw-araw ay nakakarinig tayo ng iba’t-ibang tawag:


Tawag ng inang bayan, para sa mga pulitiko.

Tawag ng Diyos, para sa mga pari, mga madre at mga deboto ng simbahan.

Tawag ng konsensya para sa mga kurakot at magnanakaw.

Tawag ng ina sa mga anak nito at sa mga anak niyang napariwara.




At tawag ng laman, ang walang humpay na naririnig ko.








Written by Patrick King Pascual

January 20, 2009 at 3:26 pm

Protocol 101

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The Curator Part 2.




Protocol is the customs and regulations dealing with diplomatic formality, precedence, and etiquette. It’s a mandatory thing you have to learn and do every time you come across or approach someone who has the same stature as The Queen or The President.




Just a day later, after I flew back from KL, I got a heads-up from work that I will be working with The Curator again. I received his number, and my Boss, persistently reminded me to bug The Curator for his script.


It was a move I’m so afraid to make. The past came flashing through my head, from the very first time I saw him to the last time we exchanged messages. It was a mixture of dread, excitement and hope. I didn’t know if sending him a message, work-related or no, a good idea or what. But I have to do it.




Then the day came. He went to the office to finish his script and prepare for the show.


I’m not sure if I’m sedated the whole time I was with him or I just kept on making an excuse just to be close to him. It was ecstatic.


The Curator flashed several signs. I caught most of it but up until now I still haven’t deciphered what he meant, again, I received mixed-messages.




I couldn’t help but wonder (again), am I willing to jump back to the old days wherein I hope and wait for something I really want to happen even after learning the great deal of odds I have to surpass to accomplish them?




After the show, I wanted so bad to ask The Curator out; to catch up on things since our last conversation months and months’ back, to flirt with him a little more, and something more, maybe. But I crippled.


I went to the garden of our office and lighted my 8th cigarette for the day. A great part of me wanted to go back to the studio and catch him before he leaves the office, but part of me begs to hold on still where I was standing.


And then, I received a call from The Curator.




“Where are you? I have been going around the office looking for you… I just left your office… I’m on my way now to meet your boss for a dinner.”


I wanted to die as his words slowly entered my system. It could have been… It might have been… Then he said:


“Patrick, take good care of yourself. Just call me anytime for anything…”


After hearing him say those words, I slowly got myself back to reality. I flirted back saying, “Seriously, for anything?” He answered, “Yeah”, with a naughty laugh.






I had a choice that night, I could have went back to the studio and face reality with The Curator without any distractions and enjoy his company, but I chose to stay away.


Was I wrong in making that choice, or am I just playing everything safe knowing what consequences I will have to face after making a move?


I still have one more choice to make for – The Curator; I can call him and updated him about the status of his talent fee and continue the flirting with him, or I can just let our HR department do the legwork for everything.











Written by Patrick King Pascual

January 15, 2009 at 5:15 pm


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We’ve reached the end of the year and the beginning of another.


After finishing a full year of success stories, fulfilled dreams and hopes, established a strong foundation with our friends, mastering the things we’ve committed errors on the previous year, and of course; heartbreaks, more hopes that lead to nothing, more education and experience on different dilemmas in the health section. Overall, it was a fat-full year of events that made us hustlers.


Hustler at work.

Hustler in bed.

Hustler in partying.

Hustler in writing.

Hustler in editing and producing stuff.

Hustler in drinking.

Hustler in giving head.

Hustler in giving advice to our friends.

Hustler in everything.


I should know. I spent half of my 2008, mixing and practicing all those above. After a hard 12 hours in the office, I will go home to change and drop my things, and then go out again, to meet my friends for a drink, and who knows what else, after which, I will go home to sleep for a couple of hours and then rush back to work. This has been my routine for sometime last year.


It was an exhausting year. I produced more programs compared to what I have accomplished the previous year. I met and had sex with more men as I have in 2007, while hoping to meet “the one” every time I took off my clothes and lie in bed with someone. It was exhausting but fun.  




If the Chinese belief is true, that whatever you do on the first day of the year will be the pattern of your routine for the whole year; then we wouldn’t have any problems and more questions as we walked along the days and months of last year trying to figure out what’s wrong.


I started my last year, as perfectly patterned as my freshly ironed white buttoned down shirt. But I felt overtly exhausted last year, hoping to finally meet “the one” (don’t we always do this every start of a new year?) but I failed to, and so, I spent my 101% of my time in work, leaving the other column blank and hanging, as I fast-pace succeeded in my work, I was recognised for this, as one of the hard-working employee.


This year, as the clock turns for 2009, we flew out of Manila to go to Kuala Lumpur, to spend 7 days with Val – to enjoy the city before having a long break with KL, before Val moves to France on the 9th.


And, I, on the other hand, up for another rollercoaster vacation ride; to meet my old flings here in KL, to shop at Plaza Low Yat more gadgets that I will be using for 2009, and to spend more time with Val. And I’m packed with new high hopes I want to accomplish as the year progress, work-wise and relationship-wise, and to finally answer the question, “Can we have it all?”






Written by Patrick King Pascual

January 2, 2009 at 3:34 pm

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