Suspension of Disbelief

Summer Fling [Archive]

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May 24, 2006

——————

A lot of things changed and still changing, my view on summer flings kept on changing as days passes by. Not too long ago, I met the chatroom, meeting new people and having sex with random strangers, a one-time situation, and no communication after. But after getting used to the routine, I started to question myself, is it normal for us to fall in-love with our summer flings and to the very least of it, expect that there’s a light at the end of the dark hallway of one-night stands?

Bien went to Singapore last April 13th and he’s not (yet) back. It’s been hard for me to keep myself much preoccupied, not to think about sex like what I’m used to doing.

When its summer, unconsciously, you want to do a lot of things, things that you don’t usually get to do in other seasons like; going to the beach, learning a new sport and the indelible heat we all want to release every time.

I tried to distract myself from doing things that I might regret afterwards; so I signed up to a swimming lesson somewhere near my university and I just finished learning how to play Badminton, but this two activities I signed up for, failed to alleviate my wanting to do something else.

A week and a half after Bien left for Singapore, Jed and I went to this Mariah party in Club Government. We enjoyed the night, we enjoyed the music, but like any other events in Club Government, the party (only) lasted until 2am. Jed and I didn’t spend the night together.

When Bed celebrated its 3rd anniversary, Jed was once again my date; we went out with his friend and some of mine.

*****

I lost track of the exact number of dates and sex partners I had while my boyfriend is away.

Christian, a 5’10 guy, muscle built and really endowed – about 7 inches long and 4-5 girth. I met him when my boyfriend went on a business trip somewhere in the Visayas region. We had sex and I really enjoyed him, his dick actually. Christian kept on planning for a second meet up but I couldn’t confirm to any of it because of my cramped schedule.

After several days of planning the second meet-up that never happen, I decided to log in again to mIrc. I logged in to the familiar sex channels and advertised my stats and profile site.

Questions kept on repeating over and over my head that I refuse to answer (I guess), why am I doing this to myself? Why am I doing this to my boyfriend? Am I’m doing this for the sake of having an airbag, so just in case that I discover my boyfriend is cheating on me, while he’s in Singapore, things wouldn’t feel that bad for me? Or am I someone who isn’t the monogamous type?

*****

After having a few numbers of one-time only guys, I met this guy, JB. I don’t know what those two letters stand for, all I know is – he is really gifted! We met 3 times, but we only had sex once, I didn’t feel bad that it only happened one because he’s a bad top.

In one of our meet-ups, I discovered a lot of things about JB, I was secretly hoping that he might be a boyfriend material, but it turns out, he’s not! His ex is a performer in Amazing Philippines, but not the effeminate type (is it really possible?). He’s a member of the Philippine Team of badminton. And, he’s starting to fall for me.

Something inside tells me not to pursue this, and so I stopped seeing him.

*****

My communication with my boyfriend who’s in Singapore turns sour every single day. I’m starting to feel that it was his way of saying that I should not wait for him and that I should go on with my life. It was a big FUCK OFF! And I can’t fight for the relationship; we’re islands away from each other.

And then, I met Johan, in the chatroom, he lives and works in Bangkok, and he’s here in Manila to visit his family and to spend his summer. And everything changed.

——————

May 24, 2006

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Written by Patrick King Pascual

October 6, 2010 at 6:48 am

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