Suspension of Disbelief

Behavioral partying

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Outrage Magazine | 14 October 2013

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Photo 7-27-13, 12 39 48 AM

 

When we were still in our early 20s, the meaning of clubbing and bar hopping was different – it was usually about getting drunk, dancing the night away, meeting new people and hoping that your next smile might win you a hookup for the night.  But as years passed, probably marked by promotion at work or a new job offer, several failed relationships and flings, we (consciously or unconsciously) slowed down.

This may have been because of a change in behavior.

And this change in the clubbing behavior remained steadfast even as new bars and clubs continued to open in different parts of the metro.

The excitement we once felt is subtler this time around.

But I daresay that this behavioral change – perhaps best exemplified by our changing taste in the genre of music being played or the crowd we party with in a particular bar – may be based on preconceived conditions.
So that it can be changed,

ON “REPRESENTATIVENESS”

One of the reasons why people tend to transform themselves into something different is because of stereotyping.
Let’s say you’re a regular dude who just wants to go out, get drunk and enjoy the night – the usual drama. But as you arrive in the party scene, you see people in groups, gossiping about their latest hookups, or talking about their new designer watches or shoes… and you can’t help but notice that partying, as you remember it, is no longer the same.  It seems that it’s now more about not being left out rather, about feeding insecurities…

Alas, for some, you actually slowly turn into one of them, changing your behavior and your mindset on how partying shouldactually be like.

ANCHORING & ADJUSTMENT

Choosing another place to have a good time is not easy for many – at times, it is the last option for others. This is because when people make a choice, they’d rather stick to it instead of checking out other available places.

Long before Bed Bar re-opened in Greenfield District, there’s this sort of new club just around the area called UNO. It’s a very promising place – both heterosexual and gay crowds partied there even on weeknights. But strange gossips started floating around the community – that UNO’s service was bad, the servers weren’t that accommodating, the music turned from bad to worst, et cetera. And so the crowd stayed in O Bar, Bed Bar, and in Chelu…
Which is sad.

Most people form conclusions based on a single experience, which often leads to incorrect notions.

Sadly, this is shared widely.

And so this affects the behavior and mindset of other people, who, more often than not, solely act based on information that they heard, not from their own experiences.

AVERSION TO AMBIGUITY

And so trying out a new place – like the aforementioned UNO Bar or Hemispheres Bar and Cafe in Malate – is never an option for many people. Because they are afraid of the unknown and they find it difficult to adjust their behavior because of (mis) representations and gossips.

I say there’s nothing wrong with venturing into a new scene and trying out new places.
Hemispheres’s chill out ambiance may work for your taste.
Or the overly crowded Rapture Cafe Bar may thrill your senses.
Or the cold offerings of F Club may give you a hot spell.
Options – to the open-minded – abound.

HERD MENTALITY

Yes, people are constantly joining the bandwagon.
And that’s fine.
But when it’s time to jump off, do so.
You need to be open; to be willing.

Because it is the only way to see things as they really are.

Take this particular club in the metro which is known for its pulsating performances, over-crowded dance floor and (arguably) “the place to be seen” vibe during weekends. But it had several instances of pickpocketing occurring inside it, and the management doesn’t seem to care about this. But since the club is still “happening”, people still go there even if it’s not safe – going with the flow just to be seen…

In the end, you need to go back to basics.
Understand who you are.
Admit to yourself what dictates your behaviors.
And then look at the big picture by being willing to change.
By doing so, you might revive your 20-something self again, and bring P-A-R-T-Y back in your life.

 

(Outrage Magazine remains the only publication for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community in the Philippines.)

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