Suspension of Disbelief

Archive for October 2014

Liza Diño comes out for love, supports LGBTQs

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Outrage Magazine | 23 October 2014

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Liza-Dino

When Liza Diño met Aiza Seguerra, her view on life changed little by little. It was not an “immediate thing,” she said to Outrage Magazine, “but my eyes opened up to a lot of things.”

Liza actually first met Aiza in 1999. They became fast friends, and eventually shared a relationship for several months. But at that time, the timing wasn’t right. They broke up and went their separate ways.

Then in 2012, Liza came back to the Philippines to shoot a film.

“I sent Aiza a text message, I told him that I was in Manila and asked how he was,” Liza recalled. That’s when everything started again.

Early this year, and not too different from a traditional groom-to-be, Aiza asked for the approval of Liza’s parents before he’d ask for Liza’s hand in marriage. And on February 7, Aiza proposed to Liza.

 

Their story, although it is “a match made in heaven”, also attract(ed) bashers – and not just on social media, but even with the people they encounter every day.

“One of the things that I have realized about being in this relationship is (that you should) know that you are true to yourself. As long as you celebrate who you are, even if people will judge you, in the end they will still love you,” Liza said.

“It was very risky for me to be proud and bring the relationship out in the open because I know that a lot of opportunities that may come my way may disappear. But you know what, when you’re in love and you found the person you really want to be with and you’re so full of it, there’s no way you will be able to contain your feelings,” Liza Dino says.

“It was very risky for me to be proud and bring the relationship out in the open because I know that a lot of opportunities that may come my way may disappear. But you know what, when you’re in love and you found the person you really want to be with and you’re so full of it, there’s no way you will be able to contain your feelings,” Liza Dino says.

Their relationship serves as an inspiration to so many members of the LGBTQ community, and to heterosexual people whose relationships are facing challenges.

For Liza, although there are struggles and challenges, what’s important is to stand firm and hold on to love.

“It was very risky for me to be proud and bring the relationship out in the open because I know that a lot of opportunities that may come my way may disappear. But you know what, when you’re in love and you found the person you really want to be with and you’re so full of it, there’s no way you will be able to contain your feelings,” she beamed.

This love, among other things, is also the primary reason why Liza supported the campaign of the 2014 Metro Manila Pride event which is slated to happen on December 6. The theme for this year’s Pride celebration is “Come Out For Love Kasi Pag-ibig Pa Rin! (Come Out for Love Because It’s Still All About Love).Task Force Pride (TFP) Philippines, the official convener of the event, is (trying) to reposition the limelight on the supporters of the LGBTQ community by encouraging them to share their stories of support.

“This year we celebrate the 20 years of Pride in our country. It is important that we recognize and (also) celebrate our allies; our family, parents, friends, heterosexual allies, whose support have always been there for us,” Red Macalalad, partnerships head of TFP, said.

For Liza Dino, the Pride event is a great opportunity to inspire other people who are also in the same situation as she is, to support LGBTQ people. And with the lessons she learned about her relationship with Aiza Seguerra and her journey to self-discovery, she hopes to shed some light to other people who are indifferent to LGBTQ issues.

For Liza Dino, the Pride event is a great opportunity to inspire other people who are also in the same situation as she is, to support LGBTQ people. And with the lessons she learned about her relationship with Aiza Seguerra and her journey to self-discovery, she hopes to shed some light to other people who are indifferent to LGBTQ issues.

For Liza, the Pride event is a great opportunity to inspire other people who are also in the same situation as she is, to support LGBTQ people. And with the lessons she learned about her relationship with Aiza and her journey to self-discovery, she hopes to shed some light to other people who are indifferent to LGBTQ issues.

“I was sold to the ‘Come Out For Love’ campaign – that’s the very reason why I’m doing this, why I came out with my relationship with Aiza. I want to share through this campaign my own experience, why I’m here today – just enjoying, being so blessed and lucky that people accepted our relationship,” Liza said.

Her advice to those who are still afraid to come out? “Every day we learn new things about ourselves, about our relationships, about other people’s identity and how you can relate to it. I think the most important thing is, before you explore how you relate to other people or what other people will say, we have to look into ourselves first and ask who we really are and accept that. Because that’s really important. At the end of the day, happiness comes from yourself,” Liza ended.

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(Outrage Magazine remains the only publication for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community in the Philippines.)

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Once there was a poz trans advocate

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Outrage Magazine | 21 October 2014

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This is part of “More than a Number”, which Outrage Magazine launched on March 1, 2013 to give a human face to those infected and affected by the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) and Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS) in the Philippines, what it considers as “an attempt to tell the stories of those whose lives have been touched by HIV and AIDS”. More information about (or – for that matter – to be included in) “More than a Number”, email editor@outragemag.com, or call (+63) 9287854244 and (+63) 9157972229.

Dani

PHOTO BY RED CASTRO PHOTOGRAPHY, COURTESY OF DANI

Her story is not unique. Her journey has been explored by many individuals who are also in the same situation. But what she does, and how she uses her “gift”, is what makes her exceptional.

Her name is Dani*. She is a transgender woman, a pageant queen, and an advocate of HIV awareness and rights.

“When I was a child, I didn’t know what bakla meant. That is, until I was being called one. I asked my parents what bakla means and it was only then that I got the concept of being homosexual,” Dani recalled.

It was when she was growing up that she slowly realized that she’s “a woman trapped in a man’s body.” And from then on, “I identified myself as a transwoman.”

She lived her life as a woman, and – stereotypical as it may sound – she is into joining beauty pageants (she has, in fact, won several titles).

Dani would like to think she’s also like many “traditional women” who, when love knocks on the door, give everything unconditionally and oh-so-selflessly. One time, in particular, when she fell in love, she surrendered everything to her ex-partner, even the safeness of her physical health.  They practiced unprotected sex.

“I remember before 2009, I thought HIV was not yet in our country. I thought at that time that it was only happening in the US and in other countries, so why should I worry? Why should I use condoms?” she recalled.

But life took a sudden turn.

“I am now HIV positive. I was diagnosed back in 2009,” Dani disclosed.

Since then, she has started learning about HIV and AIDS. She attended seminars, and she was present in almost all of the counseling sessions at her treatment hub. She became friends with different people living with HIV (PLHIVs) and advocates. And she did all these as she pulled through her life.

When she finally gathered her confidence and strength back, she used her knowledge and experience to inspire newly diagnosed HIV-positive people to slowly recover from their misery and help them face their new lives.

“This advocacy is very close to my heart. I know what PLHIVs are going through because I speak from experience. I consider my status as an open secret – what I’m doing, that is helping PLHIVs, is a good medium for me to discuss what I went through and how I’m dealing with it,” she said.

As an HIV awareness and rights advocate, Dani is in a class of her own. She selflessly takes advantage of her own story to help other people.

When The Project Red Ribbon was established, Dani found a community of HIV positive advocates who also shared the same way of thinking: to help PLHIVs through the power of inspiration and real stories.

“We help them get through the saddest days of their lives– how they can get along with it, what they can do to have a better mindset about their situation. They need to become more aware that this is their new life already, and that there’s much to be considered,” she said.

Dani still joins beauty pageants and she still wins different titles.  She still hangs-out with her transgender friends. And she still falls in love whenever she meets someone special.  But this time, she values her own welfare and the safety of other people.

“Sometimes, someone will call me in the middle of the night, crying and sometimes suicidal. I gladly receive the call and just listen to their frustrations and fear. I feel responsible for them. Because I know how they feel – the feeling of being alone. I don’t want other people to feel like there’s no hope,” she said.

Being a transgender and HIV positive can be extra challenging (Read about Dabawenya Tricia Cabrera). But Dani’s spirit remains high.

“The essence of being a transgender is having the best of both worlds (so to speak). You can have a caring heart of a woman and you can have an iron fist of man,” Dani said.  “And being HIV positive, you have to accept and fully understand your new life so you can also inspire new PLHIVs. And living an HIV positive life is not easy nor difficult, but it is manageable.”

*NAME CHANGED, AS REQUESTED, TO PROTECT THE INTERVIEWEE’S PRIVACY

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(Outrage Magazine remains the only publication for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community in the Philippines.)

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Use ‘she’ for Jennifer Laude

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VERA Files and Yahoo Philippines | 15 October 2014

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Jennifer Laude1

Reporting on the brutal murder of a 26-year-old transpinay (pinay transgender) Jennifer Laude by a United States Marine, Private First Class Joseph Scott Pemberton, Saturday, one question in the minds of members of media aside from the details about the crime was what pronoun to use for Jennifer.

Naomi Fontanos, executive director of Gender and Development Advocates (GANDA) Filipinas, said, “When referring to a transgender woman, like Jennifer Laude; who was assigned male at birth, but identified herself as a woman — the appropriate pronoun to use is ‘she’.”

GANDA Filipinas is a non-profit, nonpartisan, non-government organization advocating genuine gender equality for all Filipinos. It also upholds the view that transgender rights are human rights. Most of its members consist of transgender women in the Philippines.

When writing about lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ), there is a need to understand the difference between “sex” and “gender.”

“Sex” is the term used to refer biological and physiological characteristics of a person while “gender” refers to the socially constructed roles and behaviors of a person. Gender does not necessarily have to match one’s sexual orientation.

The term “transgender” is commonly used as an umbrella term for those people whose gender identity and/or expression don’t fit their assigned sex at birth.

Another confusion that most people have when identifying someone whose gender identity and sexual orientation don’t match is the term “transsexual”.

“Transsexual” is a term referring to a person who does not identify with the sex that was assigned at birth and desires to realign their gender and sex through medical intervention.

“In the Philippines, there is poor understanding of these terms in spite of the uptake in their usage. Many Filipinos have the wrong notion that a transgender or a transsexual person [needs to] have some form of surgery. This is not correct,” Fontanos said.

The use of pronouns when identifying transgender and transsexual people should also follow their gender identity and/or expression.

In the case of Jennifer Laude, traditional media as well as those in social media, call her “Jeffrey, her birth name and use the pronoun “he.” This is politically incorrect.

In the same manner, calling a transgender or a transsexual person  “gay”, “lesbian”, “bayot”, “bakla”, or beki” is considered demeaning in LGBTQ community.

“Media practitioners should have the responsibility to educate themselves about sexual and gender diversity. If media people persist in telling stories involving the LGBTQ Filipinos, then it is their duty to tell those stories in a dignified way which means respecting their sexual orientation and gender identity. In Jennifer’s case, [the] media should respect the life she lived. Obviously, she lived her life as a woman and that’s the way we should remember her,” Fontanos said.

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(VERA Files is put out by veteran journalists taking a deeper look at current issues. Vera is Latin for “true.”

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