Suspension of Disbelief

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Ms. Gay

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What’s the best way to steal the attention of the audience and convince the judges to give you high scores in a gay beauty contest where all 19 contestants were as beautiful like those you see in Ms. Universe? 


  1. National Costume. Pick the most controversial country at the moment. A country that’s been in the headlines for weeks because of the devastating earthquake it experienced. Haiti.   

And it wouldn’t be a politically correct Ms. Gay beauty pageant without a punch line. Bring a prop or an object that represents your country – a piece of hollow block.  


And here it is. 



When you get on the stage, say your spiel. You need to be as catchy as possible to get the attention of the audience and the judges. Pick a song that everyone can elate to. After singing few lines, introduce yourself in the most fascinating way you can. 



This was her line. 


“Mga tambay lang kami sawa sa babae, mga babaeng manloloko 

Pineperahan lang kami. Kaya ngayon bakla na lang an gaming iibigin 

Masarap magmahal ang bakla, ohh kay sarap…” 


Maayong gabii! Naimbag a rabii! All I want to say is Good evening. My name is Sophia Yambot, hayaan niyo pong pakilala ko sa inyo ngayong gabi ang babaeng nagpatibok sa puso at kumabit sa pambansang kamao, Krista Ranillo! Na nagmula sa bansang inalog-alog, kinadyot-kadyot ng lindol, Hai! Haiti!  



2.  Casual costume. Everyone will wear something sexy, for sure, something usual, like a cocktail dress or something revealing.


You need to stand-out. You don’t want to be ignored by the audience and the judges; prostitute and magbabalot. 




3.  The swimsuit segment is the most awaited by everyone, it’s the part of the  

     pageant where the contestants flaunt their beautiful and feminine like bodies.  


     Again, stand-out! Use a prop that will catch everyone’s attention. And make sure that your swimsuit is as outrageous as your prop. 


     See for yourself. 






    4.   Finally, the evening gown competition.







She won “Darling of the Crowd” Award.
She wasn’t chosen to be one of the top ten.

She was sad but she was not disappointed. 


It was a fun and memorable night for everyone. 




Ms. Gay is not about winning. I know all gays will contradict this. Ms. Gay is an art form. Being on stage, modelling, representing different countries and impersonating different celebrities – is an art. Ms. Gay contestants are like canvasses. They are being colored, dressed and changed into a whole new different person – to look like the pre-conceived “model” celebrities and personalities of our time.   



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