Suspension of Disbelief

Posts Tagged ‘Patrick King Pacual

Close encounters with pro- and anti-LGBT Christ believers during Pride

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Outrage Magazine | 6 July 2017

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“They’re here again,” a gay man in his 40s said.

He was referring to the religious protesters during the annual Pride parade in Metro Manila, making their presence felt with their on-your-face way to (supposedly) teach the LGBT community members about everything that’s “wrong” with their way of living.

“I came here because I love God. And if LGBTs face God, they face their sin. And if they face their sin, they will know how much God loves them,” John, a Born Again Christian from Francisville, angrily yelled.

John was on the sidelines, separated from the protesters by some policemen. But whether they’re there to protect the LGBT revelers or the so-called Christian protesters is up for questioning – the latter may be vociferous, but the former have the number (it’s Pride parade, after all).

Another Born Again Christian protester, Angela, added: “We are are here so people will know that they would need to repent because God loves them. We love them. They need to repent so they will come to know Jesus. LGBTs need to repent in order to come to the kingdom of heaven.”

In various English versions of the Bible, homosexuality was mentioned in several books.

For instance, in Leviticus 18:22-23:

22 You must not have sexual intercourse with a male as one has sexual intercourse with a woman; it is detestable act. 23 You must not have sexual intercourse with any animal to become defiled with it, and a woman must not stand before an animal to have sexual intercourse with it; it is perversion.

Romans 1:26-28:

26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error. 28 Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.

1 Timothy 1:8-11:

8 We know that the law is good if one uses it properly. 9 We also know that the law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebel, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, 10 for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality for slave traders and liars and perjurers – and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine 11 that conforms to the gospel concerning the glory of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me.

And for these protesters, the Bible should be interpreted to the letter.

Surprisingly, Christian leaders themselves are against this very approach.

For instance, Pope Benedict XVI, former leader of the Roman Catholic Church, said that “an authentic interpretation of the Bible must always be in harmony with the faith of the Catholic,” as he criticized ‘fundamentalist’ or ‘literalist’ interpretations and urged a “renewed appreciation for the symbolic and spiritual interpretation techniques used by the ancient fathers of the church.”

Meanwhile, Pope Francis, the current leader of the Catholic faith, still one of the strongest religions that exist, encourages people to embrace gays and transexuals. “Each case must be welcomed, accompanied, studied, discerned, and integrated. When a person (who is gay) arrives before Jesus, Jesus certainly will not say, ‘Go away because you are homosexual,” Pope Francis was quoted as saying.

So much for leadership, though, with the flock not taking heed.

In a poll conducted by Gallup, three out of four Americans actually believe that the Bible is the ACTUAL WORD of God and should be TAKEN LITERALLY. This is even after taking into consideration not only the inconsistencies, but the outdated perspectives in the Bible.

The surprising thing is the nitpicking of chapters and verses from the Bible seemingly to justify personal positions.

Take for instance Sodom and Gomorrah, which has nothing to do with homosexuality.

Even the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) has stated that the LGBT community should not be condemned and should be given respect.

And there’s Leviticus 20:13, which states that “If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.”

So anyone who would take the Bible literally must also campaign for the execution of homosexuals.

“We never said we hate LGBTs. We never said LGBTs do not deserve to be happy. They just need to repent and welcome Jesus into their lives again. We never said LGBTs are bad. What they are doing on the other hand… they need to change it,” Angela said.

Her companion John is louder: “They (LGBTs) are hypocrites! How can they know God if what they are doing is wrong?”

But then also at Pride, there are other Christians who are openly asking for apology for all the hate caused by religion/s to LGBT community members.

And so yes, these Born Again Christian protesters are entitled to voice their opinions while quoting Bible verses left and right. And these Christians asking for the LGBT community’s forgiveness are also entitled to air their side.

In the end, it’s safe to say that with the Bible, it’s a matter of interpretation and… morals. But judgment is anchored on the discourse of human rights; and here, alas, who’s on the wrong and on the right side of fence?

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(Established in April 2007, Outrage Magazine remains the only publication exclusive for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual and allied community in the Philippines.)

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Fulfilling a lifelong dream to be in the spotlight

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Outrage Magazine | 8 June 2017

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This is part of #KaraniwangLGBT, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBT people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBT people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”

“Two hundred binayad sa akin noong una akong mag-perform, pero masaya na ako. Okay lang kasi matagal ko na itong pinangarap (I was paid P200 the first time I performed, but I was already happy. It’s okay because this has been my dream for so long).”

That was how Richard Fabella, better known by her stage name as Princess Jolens, broke into the drag scene, perhaps highlighting how her journey into the spotlight was not an easy one. But more than the failed attempts, it was perseverance that “paved the way for the fulfillment of my dreams,” she said.

Princess Jolen’s exposure to the drag scene was somewhat atypical.

“One time, nagkaayaan kaming mag-barkada, mga workmates ko, na pumunta sa isang hosto bar. Habang aliw na aliw sila sa mga macho dancer, ako naman manghang-mangha sa gay impersonator. Sobrang na-impress ako sa host (One time, me and friends went to a male go-go bar. While there, they were so fascinated with the macho dancers; but me, I was fascinated with the gay impersonator. I was so impressed with that host),” Princess Jolens said.

That first exposure to the world of drag left an indelible mark on her.

Habang pinapanood ko ung impersonator, maraming sumagi sa imagination ko – kung ako ung nasastage, sisiguraduhin ko na magandang-maganda ung suot kong gown (While watching the impersonator, a lot of things entered my mind. I was thinking that if I’m the one onstage, I’d make sure I’d be wearing a really fabulous gown),” she laughed.

When the night ended, as they headed out of the bar, Princess Jolens saw the impersonators eating outside. She didn’t let the opportunity pass. She walked over to them and introduced herself.

“Mama, magkano per night niyo dito sa bar (Girls, how much do you earn every night here in the bar)? Princess Jolens asked. “P150 a night lang; tapos kung walang tao, P100 lang (They earn P150 per night; and if there aren’t any people, just P100 per night). Oh my God!

She was shocked after hearing how much the performers were earning, “but they seemed happy with what they were doing, and that’s the most important thing.”

That encounter encouraged her to pursue her desire to perform.

During one of her night-outs, she stumbled upon an opportunity to make her dreams a reality.

“I went to this bar in Pasay and I saw at the counter a poster announcing the bar’s annual beauty pageant. The floor manager approached me and asked if I was interested. I immediately said ‘no’. It never crossed my mind to join beauty pageants,” Princess Jolens said. “I told the manager that I prefer performing than be a ‘beauconera‘.”

The floor manager told Princess Jolens “that one of the prizes that I would get if I win the pageant would be a regular set at the bar,” she recalled. With some hesitations, Princess Jolens joined the contest.

She was able to reach the grand finals. But, unfortunately, she did not win

A few days later, she joined another pageant in Cubao. And this time, she won the title.

Princess Jolens went back to the bar in Pasay to let the performers – with whom she became friends with during the contest – know about her victory.

That night at the bar, she met the floor manager again.

“He introduced me to the owner. They asked me what my talents are. I told them that I can do anything – that I’m even willing to perform for free. I just want to perform,” Princess Jolens said.

And that was the turning point for her, as she “officially” entered the drag scene.

She earned P200 on her first night and she was happy with it.

It was a thankless beginning to a drag career.

Different bars noticed her, and eventually, she started getting bookings left and right.

“I started from P200 a night, but when I started performing in other bars, it became P3,000 per night,” she said.

She juggled her daytime job and the demands of being a performer.

“It’s all good. I love what I was doing. It did not matter if I was only able to sleep for a few hours because of rehearsals. There was also a time when I made costumes while at work. It was tiring, but it was really fun… because I love what I was doing,” Princess Jolens said.

But then, another chapter of her life started. Princess Jolens got an offer to work abroad with her ex.

She gave up everything for love. Princess Jolens and her partner at that time went to Jeddah.

Pero isang taon pa lang ang nakakalipas (But after only a year), I felt that my ex could not love me the way I was hoping he would. After I gave up everything, that was what happened,” she recalled.

When she finished her contract, she went back to the Philippines.

Princess Jolens got in touch with the bars that she was connected with before – and in no time, she started performing again.

“The art of drag is slowly dying,” she sadly said. Nowadays, “there is no production value, especially those who perform in small bars. That’s wrong. Regardless if it’s a small or a big venue, you should always be at your best. Your next performance will depend on your last performance. If you do well with your last performance, expect that you will have another set the following day. But if you did not do well, don’t expect another booking the following day.”

Although there is a growing number of drag performers in Manila, for Princess Jolens, “the quality of their performance is no longer that good.”

“It’s not always about how much you are earning. It’s not always about the money. It’s about entertaining the audience. It’s about being beautiful on stage and giving your best performance,” she said.

Princess Jolens also said that some drag performers now do not value the opportunity given to them. “You will see that they are not taking their job seriously, like as if they are just playing on stage. Some of them are prima donnas.”

For Princess Jolens, “whenever you perform on stage, put yourself in the position of the audience. Ask yourself what you would like to see and experience. That’s what you should give. The audience should be in awe when they watch you. And if you successfully achieve that, then that’s the only time you would leave a mark as a performer.”

And Princess Jolens ought to know, of course; considering what she had to go through to be where she is now.

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(Established in April 2007, Outrage Magazine remains the only publication exclusive for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual and allied community in the Philippines.)

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Once there was a proud gay father

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Outrage Magazine | 02 September 2014

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Emerson2

He tried to run away from his real self. He used to spend his days living a kind of life that will satisfy the norms of society. He never thought of himself as a defender of LGBTQIA rights.

But then everything changed.

One day, he met this “beautiful and special woman”. He fell in love with her. And in no time, they got married.

The love they shared brought to the world “three beautiful princesses”. The eldest is already in 3rd year in college, followed by a high school student, and the youngest is a 5th grader.

Emerson3His name is Emerson Soriano. He’s (still) happily married to a heterosexual woman. He is an artist, a defender of human rights, and a proud gay father.

“There came a time na pakiramdam ko nasasakal na ako sa pagiging closeta (I felt stifled hiding in the closet). I was so afraid to come out before,” Emerson recalled.

He used to teach in one of the schools in the Cordillera region. The pressure Emerson felt during that time didn’t help the anxiety he had when he was battling with himself on whether to come out of the closet or continue to pretend and lie about his true gender identity.

But Emerson then took a big risk.

“I came out to my officemates and sinabi ko na (I told them) I’m like this.‘Yung takot noon na kapag nalaman nila kung ano talaga ako, hindi naman talaga ganoon nangyari (The fear I had in the past if they found out my real identity, well, that’s not what transpired). It was a positive response,” he said.

Aside from the feeling of being free, Emerson was also pleased to discover that his friends and community have accepted him for who he really was, and nothing has changed after he came out.

His family, the children in particular, learned about his true sexuality in an unexpected situation.

“During the Pride celebration last year, an AM radio station invited me and another transgender activist to talk on their show. We were asked about the LGBTQIA movement, what it’s like to love a gay person, among other things,” Emerson recalled. Pero ang hindi ko alam, nakikinig rin pala ‘yung family members ko sa radio station nayun (What I didn’t know was my entire family was also listening to that radio station). And they heard the whole interview.”

Emerson paused, took a deep breath, and smiled. Nakaoff ‘yung cellphone ko (My mobile phone was turned off) that time because I was in an interview. When I switched it back on after the program, the messages started coming in. I opened it one by one. I was smiling and teary-eyed at the same time as I read the messages. ‘Yung mga anak ko ‘yung nag-text. Sabi nila, tanggap nila kung ano talaga ako, at mahal na mahal nila ako (My children sent text messages. They said they accept me for who I am, and that they really, really love me).”

Emerson paused for a few seconds again, this time, a bit teary-eyed. “They accepted me for who I really am. And said that they love me,” he repeated.

Lahat ng ginagawa ko at mga pinaghihirapan ko, para lahatyun sa mga mga anak ko (Everything that I do and work hard for, it’s all for my children),” Emerson added.

Since then, a lot of things have changed.

He is now more active in various LGBTQIA events. The wariness he felt before, every time he speaks in front of the crowd, is no longer there.

“Ever since I came out, I feel so much free. Kahit sa Facebook, ‘yung mga friends ng mga anak ko (Even on Facebook, the friends of my children)they are all friendly. They don’t find being gay negative, they don’t have the concept that being gay is negative, that it is only limited to cross-dressing. They tell me that I am a positive influence to them, because I did what is right,” Emerson added.

Aside from being a human rights activist, Emerson spends his spare time making artworks and exhibiting them.

“My job, being an activist, medyo palaging nagkukulang ako pagdating sa (often, I run out of) allowance. My skill in the arts has helped me gain extra income,” he said.

Emerson is currently commissioned by the Ecological Sanctuary of Baguio to design the walls of “Earth House”, a structure completely made of clay and stones.

He is able to express his emotions through his artworks. “Sometimes, yung depression na nararamdaman ko (the depression I feel), you will see them in my works. It’s a great avenue for me to express what I really feel.”

Emerson’s message to those who are not yet out?

“Kung gaano niyo kamahal ang inyong pamilya, ganoon din ang ibabalik sa inyo. Kung gaano niyo sila nirerespeto, ganoon din ang ibabalik sa inyo. My advice is, pakiramdaman niyo muna ang kapaligiran niyo, malalaman niyo naman kung tama na ang panahon. Kasi mahirap pilitin ang isang environment na tanggapin ang isang bagay na hindi nila nakasanayan (The love you give your family, that’s the love they will give to you. The respect you give them, is the respect they will give to you. My advice is, get a sense if it’s the right time to come out. Because it’s hard to forcefully come out in an environment that is not yet ready).”

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(Outrage Magazine remains the only publication for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community in the Philippines.)

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Once there was a young activist

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Outrage Magazine | 13 July 2014

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Clyde1

In the Cordillera regions, there once was a young, outgoing, and carefree individual. He used to not care about what’s happening around him. He lived a frivolous life. But, everything changed when he learned how the macho culture of the Cordillerans affects the lives of those who are considered “different”.

Clyde2His name is Clyde Pumihic. He is 23 years old. He is gay. And he is an activist.

It started when someone he knows narrated an instance of discrimination.

The locals say that in the Cordillera regions, lesbians are more tolerated compared with gays and male-to-female transgenders. In Baguio alone, when gays and transgender women walk along the stretch of Session Road, there wouldn’t be a single time when no one would tease them, or even grope them, touching them from behind.

“That is one of the reasons why gays here in Cordillera would rather hide in the closet. They are afraid that the public would ridicule them. But, if you would look at their situation closely, it’s not healthy to hide their real selves, they need to be educated, ” Clyde said.

At the recently held Baguio Pride 2014 celebration, the call for action of the local LGBTQ community was to come out and never be afraid, “because you are not alone.”

Clyde is a member of different advocacy organizations, but he focuses more on the ones that pushes for human rights.

He makes it a point that he is always present in all community-based activities.

“Regardless of anyone’s gender identity or sexual orientation, everyone deserves to be treated equally and accepted for who they really are,” he said. “I want to be part of that social change. I know it’s not an easy thing, but this what I really want to do.”

Aside from fighting for LGBTQ rights in the Cordillera region, Clyde also advocates for wage increase, lower commodity prices, and more jobs for those who live in the provinces.

Although he is “currently unemployed”, he considers his advocacy work as his 9-to-5 job.

“Another organization that I’m also active in is Gabriela. I don’t only join their activities, but I also write articles and other things for the organization,” Clyde said.

Contradictory to what many activists believe – that you need a sustainable job to fulfill and sustain your advocacy work – Clyde thinks otherwise.

“I don’t believe in what most people say that you can’t just focus on being an activist. I know I’m still young, but I currently have this mindset, that if you have the heart to help other people or affect change in your community, then that is the only thing that matters,” Clyde explained.

Nowadays, young LGBTQ people think that if they join a clan or an organization, and they participate in its activities like outreach and feeding programs, fundraising events, et cetera, then they are already considered advocates.  In reality, they are “just defiant without understanding”.

“Young people should understand and get themselves involved in what’s happening in our society, because it is our future. You cannot just complain that the system or the current administration is not doing anything, you also need to do your part,” Clyde ended.

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(Outrage Magazine remains the only publication for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community in the Philippines.)

***

The Barista

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Today marks the second month I have been dating and going out with Erick. We did not celebrate it. Well, technically, there is noting to celebrate. We haven’t completely established the “on-going” status between us, but, I don’t know with Erick. He’s been the same since the last time we’ve talked.

A month ago, I told Erick directly that I’m sort of not ready to be in a relationship at the moment. Explaining, I came to the point where I opened myself completely for anyone who will come and after a series of disappointments; I unconsciously closed everything that welcomes “relationship”. He just looked at me and said, “I will continue what I’m doing now, being right here beside you, because I’m happy.”

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If someone will examine the relationship between me and Erick, they will think that we are sharing a committed relationship, but the truth is; we’re not yet there. The problem being: Me.

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After ending my two-year relationship with Bien three years ago, I dated and had sex promiscuously without any concern of what the last person I’ve bee with thinks of me or my lifestyle. There have been many chances that someone shows motive that they want something serious with me, upon learning, I will show them something crazy and stupid so they will be turned off and walk away from away.

I met several guys whom I thought to be “the one”. And after dating them for sometime, they turned out to be like any other guys. After several dates, after knowing you more and more, after feeling threatened with you and your status, they will just leave you. What really kills me is that they can’t give a concrete reason why they have to terminate the take-off relationship the two of you are starting. Or maybe, it’s me, am I pushing them away every time they feel to get closer to me?

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Erick gave a pound of coffee to my sister, and some gift certificates. I thought to myself, “I need to start learning how to drink coffee to keep up with the freebies he’s been giving.” I know it’s not like you really need to learn how to drink coffee, it’s like you need to program yourself to drink caffeine-filled anything to fully enjoy it.

Is it time to order Latte’s and hang out in coffee shops and just say “Yes” to Erick? Is two months too much already for someone to think and analyze what he feels towards the other? Should I just let go of my inhibitions and follow what I feel at the moment?

 

 

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patrick.king.pascual@gmail.com

Written by Patrick King Pascual

June 11, 2009 at 9:33 am

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